There are a lot of things that have kept me from blogging lately, one reason just being time, but also because I try to censor the amount of emo shinfo that I contribute to the already-saturated internets. I’m very lucky to have the life that I do, but I’ve also spent a fair amount of time feeling sorry for myself and experiencing social anxiety. It’s just not a useful way to spend one’s time! But, as I’ve blogged about before, weaknesses aren’t always things to hide. Maybe admitting my insecurities and problems will help someone who feels how I do feel a tiny bit more normal.
On days when I feel particularly unlike my hopeful, friendly self, I seek out new happiness refuge and ways to meet interesting people. Most recently, I signed up for a photography class! I can’t remember a thing from photo classes in high school, mostly because my teacher was a little creepy and therefore more fascinating than the tasks at hand. By the middle of next week I have decided I will be back in tip-top physical shape and ready to work out, which isn’t really about meeting new people (meat market!), but feeling better about myself and preparing for fitness/outdoor activities. I can’t even begin to explain to you, reader/s, how terrifying a social situation can be for me, but even more so, the whole anxiety thing is pretty confusing for an extrovert.
My hope is that I’ll be able to deal with this junk so I can get back to doing fun things that are more fun to read about anyway. I have so many ideas, but I get caught up in reasons to not even try.
So, that’s what’s going on in my head.